so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
