forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
