were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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