Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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