I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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