On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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