Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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