i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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