I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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