How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
