apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
