let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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