You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
