I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
