Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
3pm strippers are depressing
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
