I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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