Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
