I love black thongs
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize