what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize