i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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