I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
