I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
