i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
