no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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