i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
