her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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