if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
