Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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