So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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