Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
