i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
