Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
