Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
