so explain again why im purple
no
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize