They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
