onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
