There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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