I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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