You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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