i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
