also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize