I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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