Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
