Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
