I'm jealous of your bromance
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize