I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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