Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
