i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
