Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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