I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
