There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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