I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize