So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
