yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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