so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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