I'm jealous of your bromance
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
