On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
