oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
