I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
