you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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