Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
