she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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