I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
