A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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