I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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